Sex tips for women who sleep with men...

I guess it is only fair after writing ‘Sex tips for men who sleep with women...’ that I follow it up with ‘Sex tips for women who sleep with men...’

In my previous post I said that the very way most of us have sex is more likely to result in pleasure for the male body rather than the female body. So, it stands to reason that if women want to have better sex then they need to take more control over the sex act(s). Ladies, I don’t know about you, but when I take control in bed I am always guaranteed a great time. After all, you know best what your body wants and needs. Right?

So here are my top tips for the ladies (as usual based on my personal preferences). Feel free to let me know what works for you:

1. Get to know your body intimately. Find out what turns you on. It’s okay to touch yourself. How else are you going to show him how to touch you?

2. Think about sex way before you know you are going to have sex. Thinking about good sex gets your mind ready. Your body will soon follow.

3. Let go of all hang ups. Be bold and tell your partner what you want him to do to you. He will appreciate the guidance.

4. Don’t forget the clitoris only exists to solely provide you with pleasure. Try and ensure your clitoris is stimulated during sex. That reminds me, has anyone figured out the clitoral alignment technique? I don’t think I have ever managed to suss that one out properly. It's just ended up being me on top, which is cool too...

5. Don’t be scared to get down and dirty. I think good sex is always a bit nasty...

6. Never, ever, fake an orgasm. It is totally counter- productive. I think it is also detrimental to your fellow sisters. The man in question might over estimate his abilities to please the ladies and consequently never improve.

7. Do give honest feedback as you go along. ‘That feels good’, ‘Mmmm’. ‘Right there’...

8. Do not do anything you are not comfortable with.

9. Tell your partner what pleases you in bed.

10. Experiment within the boundaries of your comfort zone or maybe a tad out of your comfort zone. This really depends on how adventurous you are.

I could go on and on so I won’t. I am really interested to find out ‘What do you know now about sex that you wish you had known earlier’. ‘Bearing in mind that a lot of women have difficulty reaching orgasm, do you have a failsafe method that works?’ ‘What are your top tips for women who have sex with men?’

Nana Darkoa

Sex Tips for Men who sleep with Women...

This blog has been inspired by Kwaku who wanted a few tips for men as ‘women are so complicated’. I always get baffled when men say women are complicated. Two almost contradictory thoughts tend to pop into my mind.

1. Women are really not that complicated.
2. Actually it’s a good thing to be ‘complex’. Being ‘complex’ implies you are interesting, that there is more to you than meets the eye, that your thoughts are not just one dimensional but multi-dimensional, layered and multi-faceted...

So what would you rather be?

Hmmm, where do I start when it comes to giving sex tips to men who have sex with women? I guess it is always a good idea to start with the personal so I shall share what has worked best for me and what I know to be true...

I mentioned in my previous post that apparently 70% of women have never had orgasms. I think this is because the way ‘we’ have sex is generally done in a manner which gives more pleasure to the male body rather than the female body. Let’s take the concept of foreplay for example. The whole idea of foreplay for me is problematic. Foreplay implies that there is a main act to follow whereas for a lot of women foreplay is the main play. The main act, if we think of it as ‘in out, in out’ is not always pleasurable for women especially if the clitoris is not being stimulated during the sexual act. Sex also tends to end when the man orgasms...

Now let’s flip the script. What if in the act of sex there is no foreplay or mainplay which ends with male ejaculation? What if sex is a series of pleasurable sensations which involve all our senses of touch, taste, smell? What if sex only ends when both parties have come? Maybe once, twice, thrice...

Here are my top tips for men - based on my personal preferences, all women are different :)

1. I like to be touched all over. Please do not just head to the obvious spots...the breasts and clitorises are not the only erogenous zones.

2. Don’t rush through foreplay. Foreplay is the main play.

3. Let’s flip the script from time to time. Sex can get boring when we do the same routine day in, day out.

4. Surprise me with a new trick that you have read about. Women are forever reading about '10 ways to please your men in bed’ as featured in Cosmo or some other women’s magazine. I don’t see why men cannot read about what pleases women and practice.

5. Get acquainted with sex toys. They can add spice to your sex life.

6. Send me an erotic text to let me know you are thinking about me...it gets me ready even before we hook up.

7. Go down on me only if you want to. If you cannot do something with gusto please do not even try.

A final fail safe tip which should (hopefully) work for all women.

8. Ask me what I want from my partner in bed, or out of the bedroom for that matter...

Are these tips helpful gentlemen? Ladies, what are your thoughts? What are your top tips for men?

Nana Darkoa