Today I delivered a guest lecture to students at a 6th form college and one of them came up to me and said "Are you the same person who writes on the blog Adventures from"? My response was of course "Yes" but it got me thinking...
A fellow blogger was saying to me a few days ago that I should designate my blog as an adult site. He made me laugh because he was like "I can't read about that...", "you can't read about what exactly"? was my response. He replied "you know what I mean, don't drill me". I laughed because he did not even want to mention the word sex. I understood though, there is a huge silence when it comes to sex. The silence is even more deafening when you move outside what is expected to be the norm, when you consider diverse sexualities, when you focus on pleasureable sex for women and when you advocate for comprehensive sex education.
So back to the student who had read my blog. I asked him after the lecture, "So, how old are you?", "17" he responded. "I am only asking because you read my blog". "I shall be 18 this year" was his response as he headed off to the next college activity.
Hmm, plenty for me to think about. When I started this blog I had as my target audience women, primarily African women. I hadn't thought of an age bracket though, but if I had envisaged one I would have said 20+. What I have realised though is I have quite a few male readers and it appears some young readers too. In my mind this can only be a good thing. Afterall young people have access to porn, right wing thought and some pretty scary information on the net. I think of my blog as Sex education for adults. One of my friends though said it's porn.
What are your thoughts? Is this blog sex education for adults? Porn? A site for African women to share experiences? (my initial mission) Is this site suitable for teenagers? Should it be? Should I designate it as an adult site?
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12 comments:
I am strongly of the opinion that your blog - though educative - be marked "Adult".
The education is for adults only. Never mind that sexual content have been "liberalized" in today's world.
Your blog though targetted at women, can be quite revealing for men as well. At least, one knows what runs through a woman's mind as far as sex is concerned.
In truth, I have thought many times that this blog needed to be designated as an adult site. :-)
hmmm, after you asked my age... you got me thinking was i doing something illegal? Was I accessing my eyes should not be seeing or doing something to be ashamed of? And then I came to the conclusion that I was not.
I realized that every time I read your blog, it made for good reading and as 'descriptive' as it got at certain points it never reached down right dirty, raunchy, shameful content. In fact the words that come to mind when I read the post are interesting and many times very amusing.
You make very clear at the top of the site what it is for-information, bare facts and opinions. This is obviously not porn or X-rated material and probably that is why I felt no qualms about asking if you were the same person.
I think it is for the same reason that I listed this as one of the blogs I follow unashamedly because this really i believe is not dirty material that should be revealed to only certain sects.
All sex ed is sex ed and sex ed is a good thing. Which goes without saying that i am far from ready to have sex.
Good job for your pieces though. they really make for interesting reading;i daresay good literature
David - lol, I know you think it should be marked as an adult site. Thanks for the feedback and all the other advice.
Nana Yaw - Ditto
Antye504 - I am so glad you came to the conclusion that you are not doing anything illegal. I concur! You just got me thinking about what a fellow blogger had said about designating the site as an adult site.Thanks so much for all the positive feedback. I appreciate it
Nana Darkoa
your blog is definitely not a porn blog.
its a sex ed blog
its good to read, and lets us understand the way the african woman thinks about sex
I am a huge supporter of the blog but what if some 12 year old were reading this? (They have access to the internet too - I can imagine this site becoming the fad in some class 6 classroom, whispered about in the bathroom, etc.) I think 18 is fine but some of the more 'colorful' posts/comments should be reserved for older readers. 12 year-olds need sex-ed, no doubt, but do they really need to know about titty-fucking and the joys of vibrators?
-My 2 cents
Bonti - thanks for the support!
Shane - Hmmmm, true I will freak out at the thought of a 12 year old reading my blog although I recognise that they can preety much read anything they want to at that age. I think I was reading Mills and Boon even before I was 12
My conclusion is to designate the blog as an Adult site. Thanks all!
I've been thinking about who the blog might be suitable for - and I think the simple answer is that it is suitable for anyone who is sexually active or otherwise old enough that their being sexually active is not a problem. If a 12-year old is already sexually active, then obviously reading what others have to say about it will not be corrupting to them. But, at the same time though, I think that if one is sexually active at that age, then the kind of conversations one needs to have are a little different from what the website offers. Because then there are emotional issues that need to be sorted out, that the blog does not really cover. I see the information here are more for people in adult relationships looking to get a little more uninhibited and able to articulate more what their desires are. Or for me who really cannot find a way to open up about what I'd like to be different, it's a place I can direct my partner to to clarify a few issues (e.g., why i take issue to his not bathing before getting in bed :)).
I guess what I'm saying is that - although the information is not necessarily corrupting, it is also has little utility for people below a certain developmental level - either agewise or maturity wise. So I agree with you that the best way probably to handle this is designate it an adult site.
I like that you have designated it adult- i.e. 18+ it just covers you. As has been stated above if a sexually active 12 yr old clicks through and proceeds to read the posts.. Thats them. You can't regulate who reads it and you cant regulate how they will use the information.
But you can tell them that you aren't giving them soft porn or encouraging them to go on shagsprees to experiment. Good job Lady (notice how all the lurkers are commenting now ! LOL)
Hi inhibited friend - I'm glad this blog can be a space to direct partners to clarify issues. I would be really interested to know how the partners react to the "direction".
Brown Angel - thanks for the support!
Hi Nana,
I appreciate the fact that I am commenting *after* the fact, but I think it ought to be said that though I am with Nana Yaw and David from the first/second comments, I want to go further to say that it's great you've designated it an "adult" site.
The moral ambiguity surrounding what is considered "sex education" will always be there, but I think one thing is clear: there's a certain responsibility that comes with it, which means that if you have chosen to write about it, then you have to be clear about your audience. You are never going to be able to regulate what under-age people do--they will always find ways of going round the law!--but at least you can cover your back (as someone said).
Your blog is profoundly insightful, as you do get a glimpse of what women think, but perhaps if you want to make it educational, then perhaps you can perhaps broach the issue of dealing with the feelings associated with some of these stories. I think it's possible without consigning that to the work of psychologists!;-)) Keep the fire burning!
Hi EK,
I don't think you're commenting after the fact at all. I see all the blogs as ongoing conversations. Hmm, feelings? Are there any particular types of feelings you had in mind?
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