Sex education for adults?

Today I delivered a guest lecture to students at a 6th form college and one of them came up to me and said "Are you the same person who writes on the blog Adventures from"? My response was of course "Yes" but it got me thinking...

A fellow blogger was saying to me a few days ago that I should designate my blog as an adult site. He made me laugh because he was like "I can't read about that...", "you can't read about what exactly"? was my response. He replied "you know what I mean, don't drill me". I laughed because he did not even want to mention the word sex. I understood though, there is a huge silence when it comes to sex. The silence is even more deafening when you move outside what is expected to be the norm, when you consider diverse sexualities, when you focus on pleasureable sex for women and when you advocate for comprehensive sex education.

So back to the student who had read my blog. I asked him after the lecture, "So, how old are you?", "17" he responded. "I am only asking because you read my blog". "I shall be 18 this year" was his response as he headed off to the next college activity.

Hmm, plenty for me to think about. When I started this blog I had as my target audience women, primarily African women. I hadn't thought of an age bracket though, but if I had envisaged one I would have said 20+. What I have realised though is I have quite a few male readers and it appears some young readers too. In my mind this can only be a good thing. Afterall young people have access to porn, right wing thought and some pretty scary information on the net. I think of my blog as Sex education for adults. One of my friends though said it's porn.

What are your thoughts? Is this blog sex education for adults? Porn? A site for African women to share experiences? (my initial mission) Is this site suitable for teenagers? Should it be? Should I designate it as an adult site?

How did you become so bold in writing about sex?

A reader of this blog asked me 'So, how did you get so confident?'. I guess what she really meant was, how did you become so bold in writing about sex? The fact is, I don't think it's confidence that has led to me writing about sexuality. I think my motivation is a continuation of my politics as a feminist. I think women have the RIGHT to have great sex and I think a lack of knowledge prevents a lot of us from having great sex.

There is also a lot of silence about sex (I have to point out that I am speaking from my personal standpoint). My sex education as a child was primarily from watching Obraa or Osofo Dadzie (popular Ghanaian TV when I was growing up). Inevitably a teenage girl will fall pregnant, have to drop out of school and that would be it for her. She was not going to be a successful doctor, lawyer, teacher... she was going to be a teenage mother. The unspoken message was that her life was over. All as a result of having sex. The boy on the other hand could continue his education...and could still be a successful doctor, lawyer, teacher...

At this juncture in the programme my Mum would screech 'Have you seen, have you seen, hmmm, if you become pregnant you will stay at home and the boy will go to school'. The fear of becoming pregnant, being unable to continue my education and the stigma associated with being a girl who sleeps around kept me a virgin for a long time...there was nothing in my sex education about contraceptives, masturbation or pleasurable sex.

How did I learn about sex? Primarily from books, articles in magazines and eventually when I started having sex from trial and error. I still think I have a lot to learn about sex so I plan to continue reading and experimenting. I also hope women share really useful knowledge they hold about their own bodies and sexualities such as 'Do you have vaginal orgasms?' or 'Clitoral orgasms?'. Does one feel better than the other? Do you have a guaranteed way of achieving your orgasm(s)

What are your thoughts?